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8 people who should be the first Atlanta United manager, but won't be

Spoiler Alert: This might not be a serious post

As the world waits with bated breath for Atlanta United FC to hire the first manager of their club's history, all that we can do as fans and media is sit back and speculate. There's no need for Darren Eales and Carlos Bocanegra to look any further. We've narrowed the search down to 8 viable and logical candidates for the job.

Here they are:

Sir Alex Ferguson

He's one of the greatest managers to ever do this thing. He's BFF's with Darren Eales (see above). It makes perfect sense. Sign him up right now and let him lead AUFC to glory. It doesn't matter than he hasn't managed for over two years and is probably comfortable at home in the UK. Atlanta is the greatest city on Earth and he'll be convinced to come here with ease. If for some weird reason that doesn't materialize, there's always a safe plan B.

Jose Mourinho

(Photo credit: Gonzalo Arroyo Moreno/Getty Images)

The Special One is the perfect choice. He's freaking Jose Mourinho! He's got charisma, brilliance, and determination. Once 2017 gets here he'll be bored of Europe and looking for a new challenge. What a opportunity for him to come to Atlanta and lead us to several CONCACAF Champions League triumphs and for him to cement himself in the upper echelon of managerial greats.

Todd Chrisley

(Photo credit: Rick Diamond/Getty Images)

I love a good sense of humor in a head coach. Who better than Atlanta's own Todd Chrisley to be the face of our new soccer club? He's got a phenomenal sense of style and is a leader of his family. He even coaches his son's baseball team. Coaching soccer can't really be that much different, can it?

Rick Grimes

(Photo credit: Robin Marchant/Getty Images)

Rick freakin' Grimes. He is a God among men. He's the ultimate leader of men (and women). There's not a single person on earth who you'd rather have lead you into battle than my boy Rick. He's easily the best choice.

Loretta Lynch

(Photo credit: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Okay, okay, okay. Lets think outside of the box. Did you know there are only nine women head coaches in all of America? Atlanta United should be trendsetters. What better way to announce our presence with authority than naming the woman who took down Sepp Blatter and FIFA, our manager? She is fearless and is not scared to take risks. Come on United, be revolutionary and change the face of sports forever!

Bobby Cox

(Photo credit: Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

When talking about managers in Atlanta you have to mention probably the greatest the city has ever seen. Bobby Cox! He's a player's manager and would be the ideal candidate for AUFC to hire.

Clark Howard

(Photo credit: Rick Diamond/Getty Images)

When deciding on a manager, we need someone fiscally responsible. Someone to work within MLS' salary cap. Who better than financial expert and Atlanta radio host Clark Howard? With his knowledge of handling money he'll be our Billy Beane mixed with an Arsene Wenger! Sure, we'll never buy good players or win important trophies, but at least we'll be mediocre while receiving tons of praise!


Just look at that pic. It was meant to be. Ludacris is Atlanta. He was destined to be the first ever Atlanta United manager. He does everything. Raps, acts...other things...why not add soccer manager to that list? He's perfect for the job as he truly reps "The A." I'm getting so hyped right now thinking about it. LUDA!