With the announcement that Atlanta United’s reserve team would take the field in Gwinnett in 2018, we, the bourgeoisie soccer bloggers at DSS sitting on the couch in our ivory towers watching poorly produced highlight videos of the next possible Atlanta United starlet from a far off South American country so that if and when the time comes we can act like we have an opinion on said starlet and appear forthrightly more informed than you, came down from our tower to lend an ear to you, the people, to ask for your input on the naming of our new
content mine USL club to the north.
Before we get to your answers, let’s talk about an elephant in the room. Of course, the kind of people who we’re addressing have probably already seen this elephant, leaned over to you and said, “That’s an elephant.” like you didn’t already know, because that’s the kind of people they are.
It’s fairly common for MLS reserve teams, and reserve teams around the world for that matter, to simply add “II” or “B” to the end of their club name and call it a day. Those of you that took the time to suggest the team be called “Atlanta United II” or “Atlanta United B” are the same type of people who pull leftovers straight out of the fridge and eat without reheating them and consider it fine. I thought you were a myth, but today continued the evaporation of the childlike-wonder I’ve somehow been able to maintain into my early-20’s.
It’s an idea so devoid of creativity and fun that Orlando City already jumped on it a couple of years ago with “Orlando City B”. The name is so similar it seems that Orlando has forgotten to play the “A” team at certain points, including the entire 2017 season. Let’s not be Orlando.
Fortunately, some of you were actually able to be somewhat creative with the trope.
What about 2Atlanta2United— Charlie (@coxasaurus) November 15, 2017
BTL UTD— Thomas Gewin (@tgewin) November 15, 2017
A few of you were inclined to pitch hip-hop themed names. These were my favorites. The Migos-influenced names feel especially appropriate for a Gwinnett-based club.
Dungeon Family FC, AC Stankonia, Spaghetti Junction SC, Zone 6 SC, Dat Way FC... https://t.co/T8xDXlPbwc— Sam Franco (@samjfranco) November 15, 2017
Soccerboxxx/The Club Below— scene girl problems (@realnicklandon) November 16, 2017
Stankonia Soccer Club— Rob Usry (@RobUsry) November 15, 2017
And one of you was able to combine both ideas and won the whole dang night.
Atlanta United II chainz— Juice (@JustinMolton) November 15, 2017
The rest were varied and still pretty good.
We had subtle hints about upcoming front office decisions.
A twist on a classic.
Footie McFootieClub— Gabriel J. Gonzalez (@GJGXXV) November 15, 2017
A name that some people in Florida feel is an insult because they lack judgment and life skills.
Waffle House FC— (5-4) (5-4) (@reevesg55) November 15, 2017
Basically, Handsome FC.
Bocanegra Juniors>>>>>>— Jackson Popkin (@jackson_popkin) November 15, 2017
Gold Room SC sponsored by the Gold Room and everyone’s ticket gets them into the Gold Room after the game for free and they don’t definitely won’t be stopped at the door like the last three times, please let me into the Gold Room. https://t.co/VFTsFSNqJA— J. Sam Jones (@J_SamJones) November 15, 2017
A name that would be perfect if Phoenix hadn’t ruined it already.
ATL Rising - Obviously because its a stepping stone to rise to the next level, and the logo can have a Phoenix or something cool. Yeah??— Collin Rea (@_CollinRea) November 15, 2017
A few very Gwinnett names.
Success Lives Here SC— Paul Probably ☕️ (@feartheshako) November 15, 2017
OTP FC— Alex Mashburn (@mashburn_alex) November 15, 2017
Some commentary on the location of our brand new team.
Baseball stadiums are not soccer stadiums FC— NomNomNomATL (@NomNomNomATL) November 15, 2017
A reminder that our USL team ain’t played nobody.
And some throwbacks to Atlanta teams of the past.
Gwinnett Braves Fc— Jack Forder (@jack_forder) November 15, 2017
There were a whole bunch more and I’m still not sure we’ve found “The One” yet. Keep bringing the names in the comments and on twitter.com and we may figure this out in time to send word over to Darren and Arthur.