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MLS Fantasy Rekrap Week 1: A Paucity of Points

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Low scores, clean sheets, and fungus

MLS: Minnesota United FC at Portland Timbers Jaime Valdez-USA TODAY Sports

Is 20 a lot? I suppose that depends, $20 will get you 16.8 tacos at Taco Bell before tax but won’t get you Lamborghini Murcielago replacement door handle. There were 20 goals scored in MLS this week and six were in one game, that’s only .91 goals per team. That is not good for fantasy managers but don’t worry I think more goals are coming.

I finished with 94 points this week which means that I’m a loser, I failed to get into the top 10 overall and missed out on a prize for the Opening Weekend Challenge. Bless my heart. The good news is that scores reset this week and if you missed out on a starting fantasy you can sign up now and be eligible for the overall prizes since everyone will re-start at zero for week two. Click here to join the DSS league.

I must say I didn’t see a week with just 20 goals and nine clean sheets coming. Last year there were 30 plus goals scored to start things off and, my goodness, the league spent a lot of money bringing attackers into MLS this off-season. There were some missed penalties and some good defenses playing some bad offenses so that goes towards explaining things.

Anyway, onto the Rekrap:

The Wonderful

Diego Valeri (in case you’re wondering, my captain pick) put up 16 points with an assist, two goals, and a shooting bonus. While this was Minnesota’s first game and not everyone can manage to lose by just one goal in their inaugural match apparently, Valeri and Portland made the Loons look like a team that doesn’t have a Designated Player.

The Woeful

I have to apologize to Kaka, whenever I put him on my fantasy team he gets hurt, I’m like a reverse Florence Nightingale. After 10 minutes he had injured himself, scored one point, and is going to be out for several weeks. At least we have unlimited transfers so I don’t have to see an anger counselor about wasting a transfer on an injured player.

The Whammy of the Week

After failing to get a shot on goal in regulation during their last game, the one where they won MLS Cup, the Seattle Sounders managed one and even scored from open play. Sadly for them it wasn’t enough to get past the suddenly rejuvenated Dynamo. Usually I associate things that are orange with the Stinkhorn fungus but this week Seattle made Houston look like an army of Oompa-Loompas joyfully singing demented songs that teach children lessons about character and escorting them out of their candy workshop. Cubo Torres scored his first MLS goal since 2014 and racked up seven points while his strike partner Romell Quioto made the dream team with ten.

Do your homework

If you want to score 94 points like I did, yeah I’m talking about my fantasy team score but you’re the one reading a fantasy soccer article so you kinda asked for it, and you haven’t already, go look at the articles I did in preseason for strategy tips and picks for each team.

Rekrap’s Richter Roster

A young person said the kids have started saying things are ‘Richter’, maybe the guy was just into Geology but perhaps I’ll Tweet at Andrew Carleton and Chris Goslin so they can clarify for me. Anyway, here are my picks this week:

  • Keepers: Luis Robles (NYRB, $6), David Bingham (San Jose, $6). The Red Bulls and Earthquakes have the best matchups against Colorado and Vancouver respectively and I think they’re worth the price. If you want a cheap keeper get Cody Cropper ($4, New England) he’s nailed on, cheap, and playing Orlando at home where it will be about 20 degrees at kick off.
  • Defenders: I think you’ll see Aruelien Colin (NYRB, $6) this week and like doubling up with the keeper and defender pick to get double clean sheet points. Also look at Nick Lima (SJ, $4.5) for a cheap option and Greg Garza/Tyrone Mears (ATL, $5.5) for a homer pick that might get you points for an assist against Minnesota.
  • Midfielders: Nacho Piatti (MTL, $10) is at home, in the dome, and playing a Seattle team that looks like it needs to figure things out - he’s on my team and should be on yours. Javier Morales (DAL, $9) sat out last week but I think he’ll start against Sporting KC and I expect Dallas to come out scoring again this week. Alex (HOU, $7.5) has a good matchup and is very well priced for what he can deliver.
  • Forwards: Giovani dos Santos (LA, $10) gets a Portland defense that I still think has problems, even though they played better last week, and he put up 10 points on Dallas against who has a better backline over the weekend. At home against DC I like David Villa (NYCFC, $10) to get his first goal of the year. Fine, you want a cheap forward here you go - Christian Ramirez (MNUFC, $8) showed he belongs in MLS last week, is used to playing in terrible cold weather, and if we’re being honest our backline could use some work.

Rekrap’s Rejects

  • Defenders: Any defender not on San Jose or New York Red Bulls, maybe add Toronto to that list if you feel lucky. I think everyone else will get scored on.
  • Midfielders: Sacha Kljestan gets the Mastroeni treatment this week and I think New York will struggle against Colorado even at home - I could be wrong here but I’m keeping him off my team.
  • Forwards: I can’t find a big name forward that I really don’t like this week. So I’ll leave some advice and say don’t go chasing goals by guys you’ve never heard of like Quioto, stick to the proven players that you’re used to.

Leaderboard

Congrats to the top 3 Dirty South Soccer league finishers this week:

1st place: Too_Much_Soccer managed by New York Red Bulls who won the Opening Weekend Challenge to boot (ouch, I lost to the Red Bulls twice this week)
2nd place: The Damned United managed by Cary Mullen
3rd place: Money Changers FC managed by Allen Raines

Good luck everyone!