The U.S. lost to Martinique, an island nation with an amateur league and the same population as Iceland. A lot of people don’t know this but Martinique considered bringing in Gylfi Sigurdsson to play for them last night but Everton wouldn’t release him for the game. Perhaps the U.S. thought they were playing against him anyway and assumed that CONCACAF would issue a forfeit and that they had already won 3-0, otherwise there’s very little to explain the performance last night.
Some of the reaction on Twitter was worse than Gyasi Zardes while other corners of the twitterverse looked more Jordan Morris-esque. Let’s look at the Zardeses and Morrises of the world with their takes on the game.
There was a Game of Thrones quality to the match, it had it all, plot twists, disemboweling, a flawed hero saving the day...
It’s all MLS’ fault, the trash league that has bad players except for all the good players in it. Where’s Mix Diskerud and Timmy Chandler when you need them?
1. USMNT should be under no obligation to use MLS players.— NonLeagueAmerica (@NonLeagueUSA) July 13, 2017
2. MLS quality is trash
2. Most of the best players in MLS are not Americans
Brad Guzan, the man of the match against Panama, is now worse than all those younger keepers in the player pool who are better.
#usmnt really needs to move on from brad guzan. dude just isn't that good. why play him over younger guys with potential (and better now)?— Joe Deien (@joedeien) July 13, 2017
Get ready for some Game Theory...
1. Brad Guzan should probably retire he's a bad goalie— Brian (@Brian077) July 13, 2017
There was one person who saw all this coming.
Here’s a poetic breakdown of the match.
To be fair, it's really hard to break down Martinique's def-----oh god we are so terrible.— John Green (@sportswithjohn) July 13, 2017
And finally, an important assessment about who made a statement with this match.
No one's #USMNT stock is dropping more than those of us willingly watching this game— Caballero Rosenblatt (@RyanRosenblatt) July 13, 2017
In sum, never tweet, or watch soccer.