The Morning Rekrap: July 13, 2017

The U.S. lost to Martinique, an island nation with an amateur league and the same population as Iceland. A lot of people don’t know this but Martinique considered bringing in Gylfi Sigurdsson to play for them last night but Everton wouldn’t release him for the game. Perhaps the U.S. thought they were playing against him anyway and assumed that CONCACAF would issue a forfeit and that they had already won 3-0, otherwise there’s very little to explain the performance last night.

Some of the reaction on Twitter was worse than Gyasi Zardes while other corners of the twitterverse looked more Jordan Morris-esque. Let’s look at the Zardeses and Morrises of the world with their takes on the game.

There was a Game of Thrones quality to the match, it had it all, plot twists, disemboweling, a flawed hero saving the day...

It’s all MLS’ fault, the trash league that has bad players except for all the good players in it. Where’s Mix Diskerud and Timmy Chandler when you need them?

Brad Guzan, the man of the match against Panama, is now worse than all those younger keepers in the player pool who are better.

Get ready for some Game Theory...

There was one person who saw all this coming.

Here’s a poetic breakdown of the match.

And finally, an important assessment about who made a statement with this match.

In sum, never tweet, or watch soccer.