The Morning Rekrap: July 3, 2017

I did the thing where I put two players on my fantasy team from Columbus so that if Atlanta lost at least I’d feel good about something, looking back on it I wish I had just picked guys from a different team. That way I could just feel good about Atlanta winning, but fantasy soccer is about suffering so I think I got what I deserved.

Week 19 saw my team earn 79 points and I seem to be firmly entrenched in the 450-550 ranking area based on my performances the past few weeks. Alessandrini being a scratch with a leg injury didn’t help things but the 5 total points scored by Justin Meram and Federico Higuain really sank me.

Anyway, onto the Rekrap...

We all love Villalba

Tito Villalba may have erased from my mind any criticism I have of him. His two goals, three in his last four games, have been superb and putting a team like Columbus away on the road was huge for United.

Clementine Derp

How (clap emoji) Does (clap emoji) Clement (clap emoji) Diop (clap emoji) Still (clap emoji) Start (clap emoji) For (clap emoji) The (clap emoji) Galaxy (clap emoji)? The guy charged a ball, thought about playing it with his feet, thought about diving for it and picking it up with his hands, realized he was going to be out of the 18 yard box, and then dove for it head first heading it away from danger. He’s like the anti Rene Higuita (that link takes you to the best goalkeeping highlight of all time).

Bad is good

There were five players from stink teams that nobody had any business selecting. After DC United missed their flight before the Montreal game, they got beat by the Impact 2-0. Blerim Dzemaili earned 15 points for the 4.7% of managers who rostered him, while Chris Duvall equaled him, and Kyle “The Pancreas Punter” Fisher had 11 points. The other two players nobody has and scored a bucket of points were Marlon Hariston with 14 points to go along with his robust .8% ownership and DP bust Kevin Doyle with 16 points.

Anyway, we’ve got soccer on short rest this week so get ready for... well who knows? There’s a two week break coming up for the Gold Cup, most of the players have already decamped for national team camps but managers may look at the schedule and reflexively rest their best players thinking that dropping points before the extended bye weeks is smart. That sounds dumb, but a lot of managers in MLS aren’t very good so anything is possible.

Rekrap’s roster

Goalkeeper/Defenders: I’ve hesitated to do this because I haven’t seen a backline that I like enough on a team to sacrifice not taking one of that team’s attacking players, but I’m going all in on the FC Dallas defense this weekend. I don’t even care that their two center backs will be out, DC United is that bad. Jessie Gonzalez ($4.9, FCD), Maynor Figueroa ($5.8, FCD) - who may get be away with the Honduras team so do your research, Hernan Grana ($5.8, FCD), and Atiba Harris ($5.1, FCD) are decently priced and play DCU. Hunting cleansheets is a crapshoot anyway so if you guess right it might as well pay off big time.

Midfielders: Lee Nguyen ($10.4, NER) hasn’t scored less than five points at home and is facing a down NY Red Bulls team. Can lightning strike twice in the Rockies, maybe and Marlon Hairston ($6.9, COL) is cheap enough that he might be worth a look against a dreadful Seattle team. Diego Valeri is still one of the best players in the game and even though Portland hasn’t been great lately, the Timbers midfielder can offer bonus points in droves. Oh, yeah, Miguel Almiron (ATL, $9.9) is the fifth highest scoring mid in the game and at his price is almost a bargain for the production he offers.

Usually I avoid away teams, but with NYCFC on the road I’m seriously considering taking Jack Harrison ($8.1, NYCFC). He’s a bargain and will be taking on the Whitecaps who just dropped four goals to the Fire.

Forwards: Cubo Torres ($8.7, HOU) or Mauro Manotas ($8.0, HOU) are good bets against an awful Montreal Impact defense. In Minnesota Christian Ramirez ($8.0) netted a goal against a very stout NYCFC defense and takes on a struggling Columbus Crew backline. Also, David Villa ($11.4, NYCFC) - see Harrison, Jack. Finally, who should I pick, who should I take at home on the 4th of July in front of the best home atmosphere in MLS? Josef Martinez ($9.4, ATL) or Tito Villalba ($10.1, ATL) who is producing like mad as of late.

Rekrap’s Rejects

Fireworks...

Don’t shoot off fireworks this 4th of July - there are literally 100 places in and around Atlanta where you can watch a fireworks display without being some kind of pathetic wannabee with a handfull of whizzdings, sky poppers, and screech exploders and a box of matches. I get it, I’m a childish adult and want nothing more than to be a real life John McClane but all you are doing is polluting the earth and terrorizing dogs.

Are you a dog hater? If so, I hope you get Brainerd diarrhea from an undercooked hamburger. If not consider just enjoying the fireworks display you will get after the Atlanta United game on Tuesday and call it a night.

Oh, for anyone needing help for their dogs who will no doubt be frightened by just about everyone in the city who doesn’t follow this advice, try some soothing music or a DIY thundershirt for your pup.