Illustrated Box Score: ATLUTD at DC United

Well DC United won their second consecutive game thanks to an own goal and beat Atlanta for a third time in as many games this season. This was easily Atlanta’s worst performance against DCU, at least the team scored in the other two matches. The Five Stripes looked flat and if their opponents were an actual soccer team the 1-0 scoreline would have been much worse.

To be sure, DC only won the game because of an own goal. They barely attempted to play soccer and hardly tried to create chances against Atlanta United. They exemplified anti-soccer to the fullest and parking the bus for most of the game allowed Michael Parkhurst, of all people, to push forward nearly playing as a right winger for some of the second half. As in the past two matches against the Black and Red, the story of the day for Atlanta was individual players failing to execute against a team that would have 16 points if not for their results against the Five Stripes.

The game that you see isn’t the full story though. The box score also tells a tale of futility, inadequacy, and defeat in what was an absolute quagmire of a game. Here’s a deep look at how things went wrong for the Five Stripes last night:

The team statistics also paint a bleak picture of hopelessness, dread, and desolation.

Luckily, (then again who knows?) Atlanta gets to do it again on Saturday playing against Philly. Let’s hope they play better than I draw.