The Daily Dirt April 4, 2018: Ronaldo’s Tour de Turin

It happened everyone. Someone figured out what’s wrong with soccer in the United States of America - MLS signed Zlatan. I’m not going to link to the take - you can find it if you want (it wasn’t on Deadspin though). There’s really nothing more to say about this other than that MLS has come far enough for people to respond with a few silly tweets, a head shake or two, and then getting back to posting about Cristiano Ronaldo’s goal and how badly the MLS All-Stars are going to crush Juventus. Though I bet an edgy podcast might have some thoughts about the article in question.

Anyway, onto the Dirt...

Domestic

Montreal is garbage you say, no good players on the team you tell me, a manager leaving in the summer some hack predicted?

FC Cincinnati is well on its way to joining MLS, it’s already doing weird unethical things to players contracts in an attempt to sway power to the owner’s of the team. The MLSPA has even sought to comment on the situation between Tom Heinemann and the club.

Crystal Dunn is one of the best players in NWSL and indeed the world. Playing for the NC Courage has been something of a homecoming for the versatile player as she discussed with Neil Morris of WRAL Sports Fan.

International

In the Champions League Real Madrid did OK against Juventus and Bayern Munich beat Sevilla despite giving up an away goal.

In Concacaf Champions League a team from a league that will never have good fans because it signed Zlatan beat Club America 3-1. Toronto FC will have to be on their game at El Azteca next week to go through to the final. Tonight the New York Red Bulls travel to Guadalajara to take on Chivas.

MLS has finally made it in the UK, no Mix Diskerud is not taking David Silva’s spot in the lineup for Manchester City. Rather American broadcasters got roasted by David Squires and he had some fun with the Zlatan coverage. Squires might actually be one of the anonymous writers at DSS who we don’t know the identity of because 80% of this is from the Writers’ Room.

Goal

That’s. Levitation. Holmes.

You should vote for...

Mercedes Benz Stadium to be added to FIFA 19 - the Best or Nothing. Dilly Dilly.