The Daily Dirt May 21, 2018: At least Orlando is also terrible

Well, it’s May - you know what that means. Time for Orlando City to lose 18 of their next 20 games and fail to make the playoffs again. They have dropped their last two games and are sliding slowly, like a pair of cargo shorts struggling against gravity and the damp heaviness of a humid day ever closer out of the top six in the east. An injury to Dom Dwyer isn’t helping things and the fact that even though they brought in 11 new defenders in the off season they are playing Will Johnson at right back. It’s not going well as TFCII did this against them over the weekend:

That little figure scurrying over to the spot he should have been on the cross is Mr. Fined for Embellishment himself, Will Johnson.

At least someone with ties to Orlando had a good weekend...

Anyway, enough analysis, onto the Dirt...

Domestic

The Portland Timbers beat LAFC on Saturday, but the real winner was whoever made this gif because, lgkjas;glkjjf;ds:

Who doesn’t love a good rondo? I man, surely anything that was advocated as a training tool by Johan Cruyff must be used by the best and most advanced soccer trainers in the world. The answer for coaches in the US climbing the alphabet letter of coaching licenses is more complex than it may seem according to Charles Boehm.

The USMNT lineup that will face Bolivia has been announced. Yes, Jeff Larentowicz again got snubbed by American Manager Dave Sarachan, but - get ready for the US to play Eric Lichaj and Walker Zimmerman as Sarachan goes for a 1-1 draw in the game so he can say he’s undefeated when it comes time for permanent manager interviews to start.

The NC Courage won to stay undefeated on Saturday 2-1 in New Jersey. They’re growing their lead to ‘they’re running away with it levels’ at this point in the year. As for the other teams in action this week - Equalizer has the rundown.

International

Let’s check in on the FA Cup

Wait, that’s not right... Chelsea did beat Manchester United 1-0 though and Eintracht Frankfurt surprised Bayern Munich in the DFB Pokal Final.

There were some notable departures across the world of soccer this weekend as Gianluigi Buffon, Andres Iniesta, and someone who will regret coming to MLS ended their time with the teams that made them world superstars. Our friends over at Black & White & Read All Over had an ode to Gigi as he leaves the club.

Here’s just a last look at Iniesta at Camp Nou.

Goal

Here’s the goal that sealed the LigaMX championship for Santos Laguna while Atlanta United was doing... whatever it was doing on Sunday night:

You should read...

About how octopuses are really aliens. No, it’s not the Onion, I’m waiting for someone to explain how the animals can pick the World Cup winner every time without fail and until they do, I’ll take the aliens theory.