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Columbus Crew vs. Atlanta United, recap: Five Stripes pick up big away win

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IN YOUR FACE ZACK STEFFEN THIS TOTALLY MAKES UP FOR THE LAST TIME WE OWN YOU NOW

MLS: Atlanta United FC at Columbus Crew SC Greg Bartram-USA TODAY Sports

Atlanta United traveled to Columbus to face the league’s best defensive team AND RAN THEM OUT THE DANG BUILDING. Well. Kind of. Goals from Josef Martinez and Tito Villalba pushed the Five Stripes to a hard-nosed 2-0 road win against the third-place team in the Eastern Conference.

It took 30 minutes for either team to put a shot on target. Fortunately, Josef made it count.

Columbus created more opportunities throughout the half but could only place one shot on frame. Atlanta entered the locker room up one.

The second half continued in the same way. Things were happening but things weren’t actually happening. After a plethora of almost chances and kinda opportunities, the Five Stripes and newly inserted Villalba buried the game.

Atlanta United not only builds on their lead on top of the Supporters’ Shield and Eastern Conference standings with the win, the Five Stripes own a 14 points cushion from the playoff-earning sixth spot in the conference due to Orlando City’s (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH) 3-0 loss to Montreal Impact.

The Five Stripes now take their longest break of the season. Atlanta United will return to action June 24 when they welcome Portland to MBS. EDIT: There’s also a USOC game next Wednesday that Sam forgot because USOC. Thanks for understanding.