Atlanta United vs. Orlando City, recap: Five Stripes embarrass the Lions

Atlanta United scored three second-half goals, including a second-half brace from Miguel Almiron, and mollywhopped/shellacked/pulverized/beat the ever-loving hell out of Orlando City in a 4-0 win on Saturday night in God’s city, Atlanta, Georgia.

Atlanta wasted no time getting on the board.

With the goal, Josef Martinez extended his lead atop the Golden Boot race to four. The Venezuelan striker has 15 goals through 18 games.

Up one, Atlanta continued to exploit space in behind the Orlando back three but failed to create key chances. A mostly disinterested Orlando team created two shots on goal and outpaced Atlanta in the category 3-1 at the half despite the Five Stripes holding 77% possession.

Then the second half started.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ATLANTA DONE TOOK OFF ON ‘EM.

Almiron picked up his seventh and eighth goal of the season, while Ezequiel Barco picked up his fourth goal of the year. The Five Stripes poured on three goals on five shots on target and steamrolled Orlando out of Mercedes-Benz Stadium. The four-goal outburst comes after a string of frustrating matches at home against teams content to sit back and play negatively.

”That’s the kind of game you expect from us,” Jeff Larentowicz said. “It’s a difficult league though you have some tough games at home. The game against Portland is an example of that. Teams are going to come in and fight. We were extremely focused tonight. Tonight was similar to the Portland game and we wanted to rectify the things that went wrong then.”

The win keeps Atlanta on top of the Eastern Conference and Supporters’ Shield standings. With an extra game played, the Five Stripes now lead NYCFC in the east by six points and Sporting Kansas City in the Supporters’ Shield race by five points. In addition to a boost in the table, Tata Martino said that the win is a much needed return to form.

“It’s important for us as a team to play well at home and tonight we got that kind of performance. I also think that a couple of games back against Columbus we had a good game on the road, but today was an important game because we got back to that form playing at our home stadium,” Martino said. “I also think it’s important playing the way the team did it and the way they kept playing and creating chances. Sometimes in the last couple of games that wasn’t the case.”

Martino and Atlanta will be on the road for a pair of games before returning to The Benz to face Seattle Sounders on July 15. The road trip begins against FC Dallas on July 4. No matter the outcome of those three games, the Five Stripes can rest comfortably knowing that ORLANDO CITY HAS NEVER BEATEN ATLANTA UNITED AND THE ENTIRE STATE OF FLORIDA SHOULD BE LAUNCHED INTO THE SUN FOR WASTING SPACE. THE ONLY THING THEY’RE GOOD FOR IS GIVING US CHEAP AND EASY POINTS. GOD BLESS THEM FOR THAT. THEM FIVE STRIPES IS HELL DON’T THEY?????