Welcome to the Morning After the Morning After. Rather than hastily writing about the events of this week’s Atlanta United match and other events around the league, we want to bring you the kind of well-reasoned, thoughtful analysis of both Atlanta United and the rest of the league that comes from sitting things out for a day or two. Now that we’re two days removed from shellacking Orlando City and taking a five point lead atop the Supporters’ Shield standings, I’m actually feeling pretty great thanks for asking.
Atlanta United Thought of the Week
“Let the hate flow through you. It’s a lot more fun that way.”
Sure Orlando City is a wholly incompetent organization. Sure their players played like a group of disinterested 8-year-olds praying for the mercy of a final whistle and Capri-Sun Pouches at a YMCA game. Sure they just hired a manager who perpetually looks like he’s deciding whether or not he has the confidence to speak up as he stands on the edge of a conversation circle at a party full of people he only knows through a friend. Sure they may never beat Atlanta United in a meaningful game in the entire history of the club. Sure they probably aren’t worth your time to even care about or think about at all. But my God if having an extra stake in the game didn’t make the 4-0 beatdown.
Sports are dumb. Glorified melodrama played out in real time that we only care about because we’ve decided for one reason or another the result of 22 strangers kicking a ball for an hour and a half means...something. Simply put: Sports are an entertainment product. As fans, why shouldn’t we do as much as possible to make them entertaining? If that means trash talking a bunch of purple nobodies 365 days a year then by all means we should do it. 4-0 wins are always fun, but adding an extra helping of narrative to Saturday night made it one of the best wins of the year.
You can say it’s not a rivalry, you can say the hate is manufactured, but what you’re really saying is, “I see people having fun with this fun thing and I want them to stop.” Stop trying to red pill everyone into your melancholy world where a win against Orlando City is another run of the mill regular season game. The people in The Matrix who took the red pill were idiots anyway. The only smart one was the guy who thought “Hey in the world where I didn’t know what was going on I got to eat steak and watch Parks and Rec instead of eating gruel and watching Morpheus rattle off Caddyshack quotes” and went back to his fun and enjoyable fake-life and ok maybe this metaphor has gone off the rails a bit but still you get my point.
All I’m saying is; Would people have been doing things like this after a win in late-June against any other team?
They may never beat us. Ever. But if you haven’t already, embrace the hate. You can thank me later.
Atlanta United Tweet of the Week
Gonna be honest, I killed it here.
Atlanta United Quote of the Week
“Recently in an interview I was asked about Mikey, and I said Mikey’s like a boy scout. He’s always prepared. Even when he’s called on in isolated instances to play, he’s always ready. Now that he’s playing more consistently he’s even more ready to contribute.” - Tata Martino on Mikey Ambrose, America’s Boy Scout.
MLS Tweet of the Week
Best XI: 11 Non-Atlanta United Things That Happened In the League Called MLS or Major League Soccer during this Week in MLS*
*All quotes are totally made up unless otherwise noted but it’s more fun to imagine them being real so do that**
**Best XI will be back in the next edition. We are taking a moment of silence for our fallen saint, Jason Kreis. We miss you buddy. Get well soon.
Alpharetta Dad Thought of the Week - Sponsored by I’m not waiting in traffic to see the city’s fireworks show, we’ll make our own fireworks show. Or watch one on TV.
Bonus: Kevin Egan beats an Alpharetta Dad Boss Level
The usually calm and cool @kev_egan got fired up on #TheXTRA when @jrstlouis and @TRongen tried to blame Messi for @Argentina crashing out of the #WorldCup, saying the real GOAT would overcome.— beIN SPORTS USA (@beINSPORTSUSA) July 1, 2018
It got spicy. You're gonna want to see the full debate https://t.co/IyxMm8ep00 pic.twitter.com/JZms3Q0wqw