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Recap: Sports bad.

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I’m legally obligated to put something here.

MLS: Atlanta United FC at Real Salt Lake Chris Nicoll-USA TODAY Sports

Atlanta United were thoroughly outplayed on the road against Real Salt Lake but were somehow on the precipice of a point before RSL’s “Jefferson Savarino” — an apparently real person — delivered a swift and brutal final blow on a practically buzzer beating shot from distance to give RSL the 2-1 win.

The things that happened in the game that was played

Things were very bad.

And then things were still very very bad but somehow RSL didn’t score for a bit and this happened:

And then things got really. really. bad again.

A Recap Thought: **SHRUG**

I dunno y’all, Atlanta got a point on the road. That’s not a bad thing. But it felt extremely lucky and this team was regularly outclassed by Real Salt Lake. The attack has serious issues. The schedule is extremely tight and everyone looks tired. Are they good? Maybe. Are they also maybe bad? Could be. I don’t know what there is to take away from this. Hopefully things get better at home on Wednesday.

LOL HAHAHHAHA PLEASE END ME

DSS Man of the Match

Josef scored. For most of the night he didn’t get a whole lot of service and when he did, it usually didn’t go well. Made up for it with the goal.

Larentowicz Man of the Match (Your unsung hero(es))

The rainbows were entertaining for a bit.

Tweet of the Night

(Joe had to switch it back again, which makes this even more amazing?)

Excuse of the Night

Cold! And high altitude! How are you supposed to beat a team led by Corey Baird in that?????

What’s Next?

Minnesota on Wednesday. 7 p.m EST.