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Clear & Obvious: Build the Statue.

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Build the statue.

MLS: LA Galaxy at Atlanta United FC Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports

We at Clear and Obvious would very much like for the statue to be built. The statue needs to be built. And we’ve said so many times on the DSS Twitter and you’ve said so many times on your twitter.

Build the statue. Build it. Build it and they won’t come because they’re already there. They already know. And they already think it’s long overdue.

The statue is, of course, for Josef Alexander Martinez. Josef Alexander Martinez is the reigning league MVP and the single coolest athlete in Atlanta since...Vick? Deion? Nique? We don’t really need to explain why this is the case. But it’s simple to say that Josef Alexander Martinez doesn’t give a damn about what you think because Josef Alexander Martinez is going to make you respect what he does by the end of the day whether you like it or not.

And due to this unavoidable fact, the statue will be built. “Build the statue” is less a bit and more a directive to jump start the process. Build the statue asks the question: Why wait?

Look, it’s inevitable that this will be — like Boaty McBoatface and countless other very online things — memed until it quits being a joke and an actual tangible, real life things that exists. Perhaps the biggest indicator of that is the fact the man who started this has a pretty big say in if this happens in our opinion.

The good news is, Atlanta’s front office doesn’t even have to look far to find an acceptable idea for the statue. Y’all already have thoughts.

These are all phenomenal. But we’re assuming you, the new and burgeoning Clear & Obvious community, have more thoughts. Share them with us. Make some photoshopped things. And then tag the powers that be with us. We’re doing a public service here.

As far as our thoughts go:

  • In the same vein as a combination Taco Bell/KFC, a combination Magic City/200 Foot Tall Josef wearing a crown that doubles as an observation deck
  • A classy art piece that shows Josef standing tall with weeping Joe Bendiks as the base
  • Basically the Washington Monument but much much more phallic
  • Turning the skyline end of MBS into a stained glass window that depicts the anointing of Josef as the chosen one
  • Basically the Statue of David but, you know, much much more phallic
  • Stone Mountain could use an update
  • A Burning man style replication out in some place desolate like Valdosta that we all pilgrimage to every year to have a ceremony plus three-day reggaetón festival
  • Josef riding a phoenix bursting forth from flames
  • Just a big ole sign that says “Josef Martinez took souls here”
  • Basically the Space Needle but somehow...ok yeah you get it

All this to say.

The statue must be built. The statue will be built.

The King demands it.