clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

The DSS Bracket of Brackets: Round One Recap

New, comments

what the hell did y’all do to Jeff you monsters

Earlier this week we opened voting for the first ever DSS Bracket of Brackets.

In true DSS style, y’all then made truly reprehensible and ill-advised choices. We’re very proud.

Here’s what happened in round one.

Five Region

Another tough day for Bryan.

Another tough day for Zach.

Blame yourself u idiot.

WHAT. THE. HELL.

A pure, traditional 12-5 upset.

Reader Dan described it best.

The upstart mid-major full of seniors Chris McCann gets the job done though.

Y’all. He’s not even........y’all.

Y’ALL.

I for one can’t believe DSS writers would continue to perpetuate the narrative that Pity hasn’t resonated with the fan base.

I....what?? How???

This feels honest to god impossible. I don’t know how y’all conspired to do this but I’m extremely impressed.

Tito and Tito’s Instagram go to overtime and Tito wins on a last second buzzer beater from Ali Farokhmanesh. ONIONS.

Stripes Region

Build it.

They be.

Another easy win in a bracket that looks to be pretty chal—

Ohmygosh.

What’s wrong with you people? You went for the throwaway gag instead of the running bit of over two years? RIP to this magnificent bastard.

YOU JERKS THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN US??

MOTS Gang was going strong for a while. But if there’s anything Alpharetta Dad knows, it’s how to keep hustling and finish the drill. Run through first base next time MOTS Gang. (or just Blame Eric.)

Tough for The Departed, who had a strong backing inside DSS. Now it’s wicked departed though. So departed. So wicked departed. Like a rat who’s gnawing and needs to be departed. So departed. Wicked departed.

Anyway.

Is Region

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHA

Incredible.

I almost forgive y’all for what y’all did to Jeff and Toad. Almost.

(seriously what the hell did y’all do to Jeff and Toad??)

Had to be done. Thanks for showing strong morals throughout this one. For those of you who didn’t...you know who you are and why I’ve lost respect for you.

[nodding so hard my neck breaks]

Yeah, I don’t even really know what this one is.

A sly grin in the postgame...

Another one I’m very upset. So upset in fact...

ANIMATE ME MARCUS HALL

Good work team.

Hell Region

Shameful. Y’all continue to be fooled by this “dog” who claims to be a prophet. Decide who your gods are and how to kill them soon, this “dog” will come for the weakest of us first. What good has come since the “dog?” WHAT? GOOD?

he’s a good boy though, yes he is, yes he is, who’s a good boy?

Not Brooks Lennon.

Who is not the worst boy, but is an indicator of worst boys to come.

Thank you all for understanding.

Brian White went to Duke.

And Dartmouth.

And Cornell.

And Princeton.

He lettered in lacrosse, crew and water polo.

All while attending Monmouth.

Y’all are more worried about the roof being open than the Nick DeLeon goal and it really shows your upbringing.

Gotta have two 12-5’s each year. Well done.

A legion of spiders versus forced babysitting. Logical outcome here.

[giggling]

This is wholesome.

The second round matchups are set. Voting will start tomorrow. The rest of this is up to you.