The Daily Dirt: FIFA suspends Sepp Blatter and Michel Platini

Break out the trumpets, eat a fancy dinner on the good china, and fire up a victory cigar: FIFA has suspended president Sepp Blatter for 90 days amid the world soccer organization's ongoing bribery scandal. Not only is Blatter suspended, but so is Michel Platini, the president's right-hand man and (former) favorite to take over the job, and Jerome Valcke, FIFA's secretary general.

No, 90 days isn't a long time in the grand scheme of things, but hopefully this is the first step toward Blatter and Platini getting the boot for life. In the meantime, Issa Hayatou, president of the African Football Confederation, is now acting president FIFA. Angel Maria Villar Llona, president of the Spanish Football Association, is taking over Platini's role as president of UEFA.

Blatter's attorney says the "the prosecutors will be obliged by law to dismiss the case if their investigation," and Blatter plans to clear his name. OK.

Red Bulls avoid the Impact, win 2-1 and build cushion in standings [Once a Metro]

NYRB picked up three crucial points in the race for the Supporters' Shield. The Red Bulls have a six-point lead over DC United in the East with a game in hand. The lead over FC Dallas and LA Galaxy now sits at three points.

FC Dallas returns to first place with 0-0 draw against Vancouver Whitecaps [Big D Soccer]

And as for FC Dallas, the Toros left Vancouver with a scoreless draw. That puts Dallas on 51 points, tied with LA in the West with a game in hand. But, the dropped points loom large in the fight against NYRB for the regular season title.

What's happening in The A?

The Silverbacks' NASL playoff hopes are in dire straits after a 3-0 home loss to the New York Cosmos. With three matches remaining, the Silverbacks sit in seventh place in the combined table on 31 points, three points behind fourth place and the final playoff spot.

The Hawks tipped off their preseason action Wednesday night, taking down the hated Cleveland Cavaliers in Cincinnati. Perhaps the best news was the play of 7-foot rookie Walter Tavares, who contributed 11 points, four rebounds, and two steals in 11 minutes. No need to play the rest of the season. Go ahead and ship the O'Brien Trophy to Atlanta.

We weren't going to cover this yesterday, because why give an ignorant shitheel more pub? But, since said shitheel has been disciplined, here it is. Mike Bell, co-host of Dukes and Bell on 92.9 The Game, tweeted some really dumb opinions about ESPN employing a female broadcaster during MLB's American League wild card playoff game Tuesday night.

Bell quickly deleted that tweet, but followed up with the same sentiment.

Of course, Bell's Twitter account has since been deleted. Like the majority of morons who say stupid things, he blamed the negative reaction to his tweets on the "PC police." Fortunately, Bell has been suspended from his job at the radio station — though, he'll surely have some new jackass fans when he returns. In an apologetic statement, Bell said, "This has been a real eye-opening experience and I hope I can put the lesson learned from it to good use." We wouldn't hold our breath waiting on that to happen.