clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Clear & Obvious: The offseason is Lit


Death is coming. The offseason is Lit.

Look to the gallows. The offseason is Lit.

Kid Rock. The offseason is Lit.

Jump? Let’s jump? Yes. Maybe. If we can. But we are tired. And Kid Rock approaches. Let’s rest. The offseason is Lit.

Enemies. Spies. Are they not ourselves? Are they not one in the same? Are they not asking us to Let’s jump? The offseason is Lit.

You will never see every color. The offseason is Lit.


Jeff Larentowicz

It’s not found because he’s leaving. There are no more people left in the crowd at this Lit show. You are your own worst enemy because there is no one left to become your enemy. You are also your own best friend. The offseason is Lit.

Ok, fine this one is Mikey Ambrose.

Death is a listicle. You won’t believe number 8!!! You will though. It’s “dying.” Number 8 is dying. Just like there are no more number 8’s on the field. They have all left. The offseason is Lit.

Wait! You’re in love now! You have found love! You are indomitable! You and your love will make it!

Except you won’t. They don’t love you back. They are not responding to your message to get coffee. They are the offseason. You are the offseason. Let’s jump. The offseason is Lit.

When you were young you found a dog on the street. He was very nice. That dog is still alive.

But it’s forgotten you. You are the only person the dog has ever forgotten. The dog remembers the season. But it is now the offseason. The offseason is Lit.

Are you sad? You shouldn’t be. Only four months till the soccer team is back. But what will you do for those four months? Perhaps jump? Let’s jump. Let us jump. The offseason is Lit.

Someone knocks. A visitor? Perhaps. For the first time in ages. A visitor. For you. You walk to the door. But no one is knocking. You open the door. No one is there. Except the offseason. The offseason is Lit.

Toronto has the ball. Toronto shoots from far away. The ball goes in. Atlanta has the ball. They shoot from close away. The ball does not go in. Kid Rock does go in. He sings Sweet Home Alabama all summer long with the offseason. The offseason is Lit.

That person you admire has a bad tweet. The offseason is Lit.

Welcome. Have seat. This is offseason. We have everything you could ever want. Except soccer. Do you want soccer? That’s too bad. This is the offseason. The waiting list for soccer is four months long.

The nature of jumping is that you bend your legs and push yourself off the ground. Oftentimes you end up in the same place you were before. This is the offseason. We have started our jump. We will eventually return to mostly where we were before. And everything will be mostly the same. And we will feel that we know exactly Why the car is in the front yard. We will return. Let’s jump. You can’t your legs are broken.

You are sleeping with our clothes on. Your car is in the front yard. You are asking why? “Whyayayayay?” you ask. You growl. Why? Because the offseason is here. And you have not started jumping. The offseason is Lit.

We’ll see you guys back here with The Offspring. I think it’s the 18th of August. Until then. Jump. The offseason is Lit. And it has already forgotten when it will end.