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C&O: 25 Days of Contentmas: Day One: God is pro Pro/Rel?

This will definitely settle the argument.

Over the next 25 days, Clear & Obvious and DSS are raising money for Fugees Family through the power of content*. Our goal is for the 17’s to raise $1,717 this holiday season for one of our favorite non-profits. You can help us and The Fugees out by donating or creating your own content (Email us! Make a fanpost! Tweet something!) to promote the GoFundMe. Contentmas is for the people. You can donate and find out more about Fugees Family by going here:

A Merry Happy Contentmas to you.

*not all pieces of content will be winners but hey, what can you do?

As the son of a pastor, I’ve always been taught to take lessons from the bible and apply them to my everyday life. Until recently I lived in darkness. I realized that I hadn’t been applying those lessons to EVERYTHING in my life. Naturally, this led me to an understanding that I should stop yelling at people on the internet about Pro/Rel and simply let a higher power do the talking.

Revelation 21:8: “But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”

The second death, you say? Cowardly, unbelieving and vile? Sounds like what might happen when Orlando loses 14 straight games to end the season and then gets replaced in MLS by Bethlehem Steel.

Matthew 13:49-50: “This is how it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come and separate the wicked from the righteous and throw them into the blazing furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Ok maybe referring to the USSF as angels isn’t exactly the peak of allegory but there will absolutely be weeping and gnashing of teeth when they decide that Vancouver should be replaced in MLS by Bethlehem Steel.

2 Kings 2:23: “Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!”

ok fine this is just about us and Chris Armas.

Proverbs 15:24: The path of life leads upward for the prudent to keep them from going down to the realm of the dead

Be prudent, stay in MLS. Be trash, go to USL. This is what has been motivating Brian Schmetzer’s managerial philosophy for years.

Matthew 25:46: And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

Do you get it yet? Do you get the bit?

Matthew 18:9: ”If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be cast into the fiery hell.

Here we see clear confirmation of the theory that Pro/Rel will force cheap owners into spending more on their teams to avoid being cast into playing Louisville City. In many cases the eye causing you to stumble is in a team’s back line. While this also an argument for Pro/Rel, it’s also an argument to jettison your team’s garbage fullback into the sun. Or maybe it means only play one fullback so you only have one eye. I think Matthew might be advocating for a back three. Either way, clear argument for the promotion of Bethlehem Steel.

Genesis 19:26: But Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt.

Lot’s wife is Red Bulls twitter?

Proverbs 23:13-14: Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. Punish them with the rod and save them from death.

Another stark argument for Pro/Rel forcing teams to spend money or be punished. It won’t kill the teams, it will simply encourage them to do better next time when they get back to MLS and face a real team. Like Bethlehem Steel.

2 Thessalonians 1:5-9: This is evidence of the righteous judgment of God, that you may be considered worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are also suffering— since indeed God considers it just to repay with affliction those who afflict you, and to grant relief to you who are afflicted as well as to us, when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven with his mighty angels in flaming fire, inflicting vengeance on those who do not know God and on those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. They will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might

Do you you get the bit yet? Do you get it? Bethlehem Steel? Do you get it?

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