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C&O: 25 Days of Contentmas: Day 2: MLS Teams and their 2019 album counterpart

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Hiding out inside my head, it’s me again, it’s no surprise

Over the next 25 days, Clear & Obvious and DSS are raising money for Fugees Family through the power of content*. Our goal is for the 17’s to raise $1,717 this holiday season for one of our favorite non-profits. You can help us and The Fugees out by donating or creating your own content (Email us! Make a fanpost! Tweet something!) to promote the GoFundMe. Contentmas is for the people. You can donate and find out more about Fugees Family by going here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/dss-drive-for-the-fugees

A Merry Happy Contentmas to you.

*not all pieces of content will be winners but hey, what can you do?


Atlanta United: Norman F***ing Rockwell! - Lana Del Rey

At times legitimately excellent. On other occasions, entirely possible that they might break into your bedroom to set pictures of you on fire. You aren’t entirely sure which version you’re going to get from game to game or song to song, but you know that you’ll at least be interested and possibly in love with what’s happening. Despite some volatility.

Chicago Fire: JESUS IS KING - Kanye West

You both re-branded. And you both...tried.

FC Cincinatti: Get Tragic - Blood Red Shoes

Both the album name and the quality of the album feel appropriate.

Columbus Crew:

D.C. United: Dogrel - Fontaines D.C.

Irish pub post-rock just feels appropriate. Somber at times. Rowdy at times. Record falls off at the end. Fun accents. It’s basically just Wayne Rooney’s 2019.

Bonus: “It’s.....Rebekah Vardy” = MAGDALENE - FKA twigs

Deeply, and brutally personal. Communicated in a way no one else could.

Inter Miami: Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising

People keep telling me this will be good. And I mean, they do keep saying that.

Montreal Impact: Courage - Celine Dion

All I have here is a mediocre Canada joke while all this mediocre team and this mediocre album has is a former star at the front of it.

Nashville SC: SOUND & FURY - Sturgill Simpson

Definitely not the best on this effort, but everyone in Nashville will at least be excited someone is doing something different.

Yes, in this scenario, Garth Brooks is the Titans. And he likes that. He really likes that.

New England: Western Stars - Bruce Springsteen

  1. BRUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEE

2. An old legend gives it one more go

3. And it probably went better than anyone really expected.

New York City: 1000 Gecs - 100 Gecs

you get the feeling they’re playing on a different field than everyone else.

(sorry.)

New York Red Bulls: Father of the Bride - Vampire Weekend

I’m genuinely unsure if I need to explain this one.

But.

“Bunch of Ivy League white guys attempt to change what’s been working to try and create something new and produce a product easily behind past efforts due in large part to that change and because past performers basically weren’t there” feels pretty obvious.

BWP is Rostam Batmanjglij. Obviously.

Orlando City: Fearless Fred Fury - Insane Clown Posse

Philadelphia Union: Schlagenheim - Black Midi

What the hell is this? And why did this work so well? What is going on?

Toronto FC: Ghosteen - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds

I really don’t get this, there’s probably no way it’s successful, lots of old talent, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddd every music publication has it in its Best of the Year list.

Colorado Rapids: Why hasn’t everything already disappeared - Deerhunter

I listened to it once and forgot about it immediately.

FC Dallas: Beware of the Dogs - Stella Donnelly

Up and coming. Fun. That’s all I really got for this one, good record, check it out.

Houston Dynamo: GINGER - BROCKHAMPTON

If everyone got out of the two best members’ way more often, then things would probably turn out better.

LA Galaxy: Cuz I Love You - Lizzo

Always said Zlatan was the Lizzo of soccer.

LAFC: Two Hands - Big Thief

A near perfect record. Near perfect.

Carlos Vela is Adrianne Lenker. Obviously.

Minnesota United: Why Me? Why not. - Liam Gallagher

It was right there.

Portland Timbers: 2020 - Richard Dawson

Idk about soccer but this was the single most Portland album I heard all year (and it’s kind of awesome.)

Real Salt Lake

[checking to see if Donny Osmond released an album in 2019]

Nope. Ok, RSL is.....let’s see.....

The Center Won’t Hold by Sleater-Kinney

A key member unceremoniously left and they put out an ok product that still came far far short of their best output this decade.

San Jose: Mirrorland - EarthGang

They didn’t win every time they went out there but.....

[ahem]

FUN. AS. HELL.

Matias Almeyda is Olu and Valeri Qazaishvili is WowGr8. Obviously.

Seattle Sounders: U.F.O.F - Big Thief

Maybe a little sleepy at times but clearly well executed. Maybe not even the best version of yourself if you’re being honest, but got the job done in a way few other teams could.

Raul Ruidiaz is Adrianne Lenker. Obviously.

Sporting KC: Weezer (Black Album) - Weezer

You were definitely good once.

Vancouver Whitecaps: Haverd Dropout - Lil Pump


Anyway, donate to Fugees Family here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/dss-drive-for-the-fugees