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Jeff Larentowicz Moments: Ranked


MLS: Campeones Cup Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports

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Atlanta United legend Jeff Larentowicz re-signed with the team today. The third-most capped player in club history will return for his fourth season and will likely immediately be elected into the Atlanta United Hall of Fame upon his retirement when they create the Atlanta United Hall of Fame upon his retirement.

Here are his eight best moments. It’s a Contentmas Celebration.

8. The Second Goal

Did Atlanta go on to lose this game? Yes?

Was it in extremely embarrassing fashion? Of course.

Did any of it matter? No. Not at all. Jeff scored.

7. That time he talked about how much he hates interviews...during an interview

brand doesn’t just stop branding.

6. Soccer Interview with Jeff Larentowicz

Do y’all remember the time Jeff Larentowicz had an interview with some dude in the dude’s dorm room after Jeff...probably just got out of bed I’m guessing?

Oh you haven’t?

Might I present, Soccer Interview with Jeff Larentowicz for your viewing pleasure.

5. The first goal

Some of us celebrated harder than others. Some of us cried. Some of us made regrettable choices. Some of us thought that Josef actually scored and upon video review can’t conclusively determine that Jeff did in fact score but literally cannot afford to believe otherwise (google “sunk cost”). But we all cheered for the moment we had been waiting for since the beginning of the club.

He scored it with his hip too. Like a real winner. It’s so flashy to try and act like you intentionally scored with something like your “foot” or your “head.” Like what are you doing at that point but trying to make it about you? Your first one at the very least has to be the epitome of class. And well...

4. Jeff Larentowicz wins MLS Cup (Parade)

3. Jeff Larentowicz. Lake Placid. 1980. You know how it ends.

2. Jeff Larentowicz is the one.

Do you see the pixel with the ball? That pixel is about to change history. Again.

The greatest pass in Atlanta United history. Incoming in five, four, three, two...

1. Jeff Larentowicz hates América

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