Happy One Year Anniversary MLS Cup 2018. We love you.

Over the next 25 days, Clear & Obvious and DSS are raising money for Fugees Family through the power of content*. Our goal is for the 17’s to raise $1,717 this holiday season for one of our favorite non-profits. We’ve ALREADY MET OUR FIRST GOAL AND RAISED $2,700. MY GOD. WE HAVE A NEW GOAL NOW. You can continue help us and The Fugees out by donating or creating your own content (Email us! Make a fanpost! Tweet something!) to promote the GoFundMe. Contentmas is for the people. You can donate and find out more about Fugees Family by going here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/dss-drive-for-the-fugees

A Merry Happy Contentmas Day #7 to you.

*not all pieces of content will be winners but hey, what can you do?

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Happy one year.

According to the internet, the one-year-anniversary is the “paper” anniversary. According to this Wix site probably run by an early-30-something Peleton user named Brittany-Anne to give their life purpose that I found, the first anniversary is the paper anniversary because “the first year of marriage is still considered to be a clean slate and a new beginning. Paper symbolizes the ability to write your own story.”

Cool.

So essentially, happy people try to prove their happy by giving each other gifts that have to do with paper or some way but they work around having to give paper to make the gifts not suck so you get them like concert tickets or write a nice note or I dunno maybe some actual paper if they’re weird and boring and into paper.

So, to show our thanks to the 2018 MLS Cup Champions, we’re giving them each paper gifts we think they’ll enjoy. I mean, not actually, we’re broke, we write about soccer, but it’s the thought that counts, right? No? You’re leaving us because of our lack of earning potential? Well, that makes sense. We understand. What’s that? You’re leaving us for not being confident enough? No, wait, come back, we got you some paper.

Miguel Almiron: A plane ticket

one way. Hartsfield-Jackson.

Mikey Ambrose: A frame

For his Eagle Scout certificate.

Ezequiel Barco: “How to Win Friends and Influence People”

George Bello: Workout Log

More like George Swole-o. Or Swell-o. Or something. Look dude’s been putting in work.

Andrew Carleton: uhhh oh.

certain pieces of paper get you certain places, ya know?

Franco Escobar: A written letter from Don Garber declaring the entire season the playoffs

No one say a got dang thing.

Greg Garza: “A get out of Cincinnati Free” card

Greg we know where your heart is at.

LGP: A poster of this

Julian Gressel: Buddy , we’re trying

Brad Guzan: Just framing more things...

Kevin Kratz: One free (kick) pass

To be invoked at any time during any game to come out and kick one free kick.

(Fun fact: Kevin Kratz played in 27 games during the 2018 season.)

Jeff Larentowicz: A ream of paper

Josef Martinez: Blueprints

For the statue.

Chris McCann: A pass for free entry to the Clermont Lounge

We won’t tell Gaynor, we promise.

(we can’t find the tweet but one time they went to the Clermont Lounge and Chris’s wife really hated it. this is a very good bit.)

Darlington Nagbe: A signed picture of Caleb Porter

Michael Parkhurst: PGA Superstore Gift Card/Big Green Egg Gift Card/Deed to a house in Alpharetta

Gotta start retirement sometime. Also, we got him a giant print of this.

Eric Remedi: Tickets to a show on Broadway

We’ll always have New York, bb.

Miles Robinson: Lifetime contract

Tito Villalba: A canvas painting

It’s him holding the Eastern Conference trophy with “Chris Armas Blew It” written over top of it.

Romario Williams: A nice thank you note

Sal Zizzo:

Y’all don’t know Sal like we know Sal. You had to be there.

Everyone: Dollar bills. For...nostalgia purposes...

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Anyway, donate to Fugees Family here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/dss-drive-for-the-fugees