Welcome to the DSS Bracket of Brackets

With March Madness out of the picture, it was time for a more refined, elegant bracket. Where’s the actual bracket you might ask? We couldn’t afford the program to make it and we didn’t have time to use the free services. We are aware we have nothing but time right now, we’re just lazy.

We’ll get to the end and find out who the real winner is of...umm...whatever this is. Whoever has the most votes wins each round. Duh.

We’ll be straight up and say that these options and rankings were all totally arbitrary and aided by quarantine bourbon.

For a recap of round one, click here.

Five Region

Seems about right. However...

Y’all realizing what you’re doing right? You’re setting up for an eventuality you may not enjoy.

When Josef and Miggy are going head to head in the Elite Eight and your heart wants to pulverize its way through your chest cavity and escape into the free world so that it doesn’t have to make such a terrible decision, then you may regret what you’ve done. There will be no winners when Josef or Miggy have to lose. You did this. Not us. You.

Anyway, thanks for voting!! XD

In the battle of dudes not on the team anymore, the captain gets the nod to be sacrificed to Miguel in the next round.

Y’all keep lying to yourself.

Stripes Region

He still does though, this changes nothing.

Anyway. We have this running bit where after Payson makes a Dad joke we just respond with “Payson.” to show how disturbed we are and also how much we love Payson and also I watched Moonlight the other night so...

Listen you little...

WELL. I hope everyone enjoyed the extra voting option. Apparently they did because THIS POLL RECEIVED ALMOST 80 VOTES MORE THAN THE NEXT CLOSEST POLL.

That means that 80 people came to this post just to vote for a glorified typo. Are you proud of yourselves?

Unseeded “pick one” moves on to the Sweet Sixteen despite not playing in the first round or even being invited to the tournament. Jerks.

Alpharetta Dad should have hustled more.

Is Region

A stunning upset. Godspeed you magnificent bastard.

Tough day for yet another DSS inside joke but A GIF of a Soccer Ball has too much firepower. Possibly because it’s actually on fire.

Y’all....y’all don’t even...I am so upset.

lol what even is this pairing?

Hell Region

And I beheld another beast coming up out of the earth; and he had two horns like a lamb, and he spake as a dragon.

And he exerciseth all the power of the first beast before him, and causeth the earth and them which dwell therein to worship the first beast, whose deadly wound was healed.

And he doeth great wonders, so that he maketh fire come down from heaven on the earth in the sight of men,

And deceiveth them that dwell on the earth by the means of those miracles which he had power to do in the sight of the beast; saying to them that dwell on the earth, that they should make an image to the beast, which had the wound by a sword, and did live.

It’s all about at-home fashion and honestly some of y’all need it. We see your Air Monarchs from here.

Watching someone else’s child is either somehow more terrible or better than Brian White and honestly both options are wrong.

The roof, the roof, the roof is on *fire*

*track to be fully functional any day now (shoutout 2017)

Good work everybody? Sweet Sixteen tomorrow.