With March Madness out of the picture, it was time for a more refined, elegant bracket. Where’s the actual bracket you might ask? We couldn’t afford the program to make it and we didn’t have time to use the free services. We are aware we have nothing but time right now, we’re just lazy.

We’ll get to the end and find out who the real winner is of...umm...whatever this is. Whoever has the most votes wins each round. Duh.

We’ll be straight up and say that these options and rankings were all totally arbitrary and aided by quarantine bourbon.

For a recap of round one, click here.

For a recap of round two, click here.

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Five Region

Duh. Onto the Josef and Migu—

I...holy hell. I genuinely can’t believe this. A Josef and Miggy showdown seemed as inevitable as some idiot tweeting out something dumb during all this like “quarantine? more like bore-antine” and expecting big laughs every time. I.....what....what even happened here?

Ohhhhhhhhh.

The Blogfather spoke. The people listened.

Huge win for Parky. Bigger win for #influencers.

Going up against Josef will be an entirely different task for The Captain in the next round though...

Stripes Region

Gonna be weird when Josef is essentially facing himself in the Even More Elite Four.

Go to hell.

Is Region

Very uncomfortable with how far “The Marketplace of Ideas” got in the first place. Thank goodness that’s over.

IT JUST KEEPS ROLLING ROLLING ROLLING ROLLING.

(if y’all had picked that garbage inside joke over the anti-joke, I would have lost my. got dang. mind.)

((genuinely fascinated by the success of 2-seed “GIF of a Soccer Ball” compared to 1-seed “JPEG of a Soccer Ball”))

Hell Region

Are any bold enough to maintain that the priests of the Lord all over the world are to take their law from monsters of guilt like these—men branded with ignominy, illiterate men, and ignorant alike of things human and divine? If, holy fathers, we are bound to weigh in the balance the lives, the morals, and the attainments of the humblest candidate for the priestly office, how much more ought we to look to the fitness of him who aspires to be the Lord and Master of all priests! Yet how would it fare with us, if it should happen that the man the most deficient in all these virtues, unworthy of the lowest place in the priesthood, should be chosen to fill the highest place of all? What would you say of such a one, when you see him sitting upon the throne glittering in purple and gold?

I legitimately don’t understand what this one was or is or why it exists and what it means or why I put it in here. Naturally, it’s close to winning the entire bracket. DSS undefeated.